The Past is a Dangerous Thing
by evieeden
Summary: Emmett never remembered his human life. But is the past best left behind or are those memories essential in moving on to the future?


**So this story was written at the request of the lovely elidunbigboot who has waited very patiently for the last two years for me to get off my ass and finally finish it. Anyway, as Emmett in depth is something I've never delved into before, I hope it's turned out okay and that you all enjoy it.**

**As always, I don't own Twilight. And this is unbeta'd so any mistakes are mine and mine alone (be kind and don't point them out, lol).**

**The Past is a Dangerous Thing**

This wasn't how I planned my life. This wasn't what I intended.

Of course, it would help if I actually knew what I had intended. That knowledge was long gone though, burned out my memory by the venom that coursed through me, altering my life.

I was fairly certain though, that I had never intended to have a wife that despised me, or a family that tip-toed around me, scared of upsetting me again. I had never intended to let this get this far.

I had never intended to lose control like that.

My brothers sat opposite me – a firing squad ready to take me on.

Edward's mouth curled upwards at the thought. Of the two, he was the most relaxed, Jasper was sitting perched forward, ready to spring into a crouch at any moment. I guess my emotions were still all over the place, even if my thoughts weren't. Although I did feel calmer now, my rage still simmered underneath. The thought that she could have just...

My brothers tensed.

I shook my head. Thinking about it just made me feel worse, made me feel more angry and frustrated.

"Uncle Em!" A small barrel of copper hair streaked across the room and jumped into my lap. Edward relaxed infintessimily; he knew that I would never lose my temper with Renesmee in my arms. Everyone else could handle my rage, she couldn't, and I would never forgive myself if I hurt her.

"Hey Nessie. How are you doing?" I tried to stretch my mouth into a smile, but for the first time found I couldn't.

She seemed to understand though, raising her hand to press against my cheek.

"Yes, I'm sad," I answered her. "Because your Auntie Rosie's gone."

Nessie sent me a flash of sympathy and I hugged her closer. That was what annoyed me most about this, not that Rosalie had taken her hurt and anguish out of me, but that she had verbally eviscerated every member of our family. No one had been spared from the vitriol she had spewed out.

I couldn't even feel sorry for her at the moment and I didn't know when that had happened, when I had decided to just let her get on with it, let her be damned. I couldn't live up to her standards of perfection anymore and she had shunned me because of it.

A tiny voice floated through my head and I jolted as my mind briefly rebelled from the intrusion before realising that it was my niece.

_Doesn't Auntie Rosie love me anymore?_

I looked at my niece and saw the way that she was growing too fast. She looked like a ten-year old now, skimmed knees showing from where Jacob had dragged her across the gravel accidentally the other day. She seemed like a baby deer to me – yes, I had seen Bambi and yes, I had cried when his mother got shot; I was a vampire, not heartless – her legs were too long for her body and she constantly looked like she was about to tip over sideways if a strong breeze hit her. An unmistakeable sign that she was Bella's child.

She was still waiting for an answer.

"Auntie Rosie loves you. She's just...upset. She didn't mean what she said; you shouldn't pay her any mind."

Nessie sighed and rested her head against my shoulder, her hand dropping down to her lap and her eyes beginning to flutter. She was tired after all the drama of the last week and I gently kissed the crown of her head as sleep began to take her over.

As if on cue, the mutt appeared, a damp, earthy and an unpleasant smell announcing his entry to the house. He had been away for a couple of weeks, visiting his family back in Forks and so had missed all the drama. It was probably for the best; Jacob still didn't really have the highest regard for our family as vampires and he and Rosalie were still incredibly antagonistic towards each other. No doubt if he knew about the situation it would be another black mark he would hold against her.

He stopped mid-way into the room, gauging the tense atmosphere. "Hey, is Nessie going to sleep already?"

No one answered him.

"Guys."

Carlisle and Esme gradually made their way into the room from his study where they had been sequestered, talking about what we were going to do next, ever since I had gone on the rampage earlier.

Alice and Bella had gone after my wife and, if they could catch her, were probably trying to talk her into coming back to the house.

"Hello." Jacob waved one meaty arm in our direction and I idly wondered what wolf meat would taste like. Probably drinking from him would be like eating mud from a ditch somewhere. My nose wrinkled up at the thought.

This time Edward laughed out loud and then answered Jacob. "She just fell asleep a few minutes before you got here."

"Oh." The wolf shifted uncomfortably. "I was hoping to get here in time to say goodnight. Shall I take her down to the house then, get her into bed?"

The wolf really needed to watch his mouth or at least choose his words more carefully. Edward was immediately out of his seat, growling, only this time I wasn't the target.

Jacob immediately backed off. "Hey. You know I didn't mean it like that. Come on, Edward."

My brother growled again, but rose slowly out of his crouch. "You better not have."

Gathering Nessie more securely in my arms, I lifted her tiny weight and stood up. "I'll take her back and sit with her until you or Bella get back."

"Hey," Jacob protested, but I wasn't entirely focused on him.

Instead, I was holding my brother's gaze, begging him to let me get out of there and have a quiet moment with my niece and let me have a chance to think. Jasper looked between the two of us and then inclined his head towards Edward, obviously vouching for my emotionally stable state. To tell you the truth, right now I wasn't really feeling anything.

Edward nodded thoughtfully. "Emmett can take her. I'll be back later."

"What?" There went the wolf again. "Man, you know I've been away. Why can't I...?"

"Are you going to tell me what I can and can't do with regards to my own daughter?" my brother asked silkily.

Jacob looked like he was about to protest, but a glare from Edward had him throwing himself sullenly into a chair. "You know I'm not."

"Good, let's keep it that way. Emmett can take her; I'll stay here for a while." He nodded at me and I gratefully escaped the cloying atmosphere. Nessie whimpered slightly as the cool night air hit her fragile skin and I automatically hugged her closer, despite my own cool skin probably not helping the matter.

I quickly reached the small house that Edward and Bella occupied with their daughter. After we left Forks they continued to live half at the main family house and half by themselves. They had gotten used to the small amounts of seclusion offered by a private residence, something the innate shyness both shared needed. I understood that need for privacy, even though I publically joked that they only liked living apart from the rest of us so they could have loud, raucous sex.

Now I was glad for that seclusion. It would give me more time to think.

Only as I let myself in the front door, I could tell that I was no longer alone. A rustling sound was the only warning I was given before Bella walked around the corner.

"Oh, Emmett." She took in the tiny auburn-haired bundle I held in my arms. "Is she asleep?"

"Yes. Edward said it was alright if I brought her back and sat with her for a little bit." My voice croaked as I spoke, an almost pleading note ringing through.

"No reason why it shouldn't be." She smiled warmly and indicated towards Nessie's bedroom where I lay her down gently and covered her with a patchwork quilt Sue Clearwater had made for her. I sat down in the rocking chair in the corner of her room, the wood groaning under my weight.

Bella followed me quietly, leaning against the door frame and carefully observing the scene. We remained quiet for a few minutes until I couldn't stand the silence between us.

"How's Rosie? Did you find her?"

Bella began to unconsciously fidget, a habit left over from her human days. "Yes," she confirmed reluctantly.

"Yes?" I prompted.

Bella gave in with a sigh. "We found her. She didn't want to talk to us though – well, didn't want to talk to me anyway. I think our truce has officially ended." She smiled wryly.

I rubbed a tired hand over my face. "Let me guess, she said something about you not understanding because you're already a mother and she never will be."

"Something like that." Her pained smile disappeared altogether.

"You know she didn't mean it," I attempted to console her.

Bella looked at me kindly. "Yes she did. She meant every word. Don't worry though, I won't hold it against her."

I gazed up at her, almost begging. "You think she'll ever forgive me?"

Bella moved forward to kneel in front of me, taking my hands in hers. She thought carefully before she spoke. "I don't think there's anything you need to be forgiven for, Emmett. None of this was caused by you and none of it was intended to harm anyone. Rosalie just feels strongly about the subject, she always has, and that doesn't mean that you're in the wrong or she is, it just means that she feels deeply about some things and has never had the opportunity to deal with them...not properly anyway."

I stared at our entwined hands. "She was so angry with me."

Bella squeezed my fingers. "It's not you she's mad with. Rosalie's problem has always been with Rosalie. She can't let go of the past and that's what's killing her right now. I mean – yes, you probably could have handled it a bit better earlier on, but you have to stop blaming yourself. It doesn't do any good."

I looked into her eyes; she was practically radiating compassion.

"When did you get so wise?" I joked.

"Please," she scoffed. "I am married to Edward. He could guilt-trip himself for eternity if I let him." She stifled a giggle. "He can be a bit emo sometimes."

I smiled briefly, but I think she quickly realised that I wasn't able to be light-hearted for once – my usual good humour finally deserting me.

Bella sat down on the edge of Renesmee's bed. She picked at a loose thread on the duvet. "Do you wish we'd never told you? That you hadn't found out and you could go on as before – no worries?"

I paused before answering, wanting to give serious thought to the question. Did I wish that I could claim ignorance to the past and pretend that it never happened, even though I couldn't actually remember it?

No. It was better to know, no matter what the consequences. No matter that my relationship with my wife was now in tatters and that I could never turn back time and make it right.

I needed to know. I hadn't realised, but I really did need to.

The same desire that Alice had always had to find out about her past now infused me. I wanted to know more; I had to know more.

I knew that Edward and Bella had already investigated the records, tracking down the facts to make sure they were accurate before they dropped the bombshell on me, and now I wanted to find out more. Strangely, in all the upset, I only knew the basic details, not the whole story.

Nessie sighed and rolled over in her sleep, breaking my concentration. Bella smiled fondly at her daughter and brushed her hair gently back so it wasn't in her face anymore. I realised that I had yet to answer her.

"No. I'm glad you told me. It was the right thing to do."

"We argued about it," she commented softly. "I'm glad that we made the right decision in the end."

"Which side did you come down on?" I asked curiously.

"I was in favour of telling you."

I nodded thoughtfully. "So Edward didn't want me to know."

Bella sighed. "I don't think it was about not wanting you to know; I think he was just worried about the consequences and what it would mean. You forget, he was there when Carlisle turned you, he saw the struggle he faced before giving in to Rosalie's wishes. To know now that he stood by and allowed you to be taken from your family and home like that..." She shrugged.

"Yeah," I said gruffly, "Edward's one of the good guys."

"He is," she agreed. "And so is Carlisle. I'm not sure they would be so easily swayed if they had known the truth."

I frowned. "Do you really think that would have made such a difference?" I tried to imagine myself in Carlisle's position. I knew his thoughts and feelings on our changings. I wondered if he now felt differently.

"I don't know. I'd like to think that it wouldn't."

"But..." I prompted.

She looked at me warily. "But I can't help but remember what Rosalie told me about her experience of being changed. Carlisle told Edward that he had to save her, that he couldn't leave her like that. That it was such a waste." She shook her head. "It was a senseless death for a girl who hadn't even experienced life yet. I'm not saying that your death was more justified, but it was more natural, and I don't believe that Carlisle agrees with disrupting the natural order. I don't think I'm explaining this right."

"No, I get what you're trying to say." I looked down at my hands, thinking.

Bella rubbed a hand tiredly over her face before pinching her nose. For the first time that evening I smiled genuinely at the gesture. I wondered if she even noticed the habit that she had picked up from my brother.

Except that he wasn't my brother really, was he? I had a brother apparently, two of them in fact, and five sisters as well, none of whom I remembered. I had seven siblings, a mother, a father and thirty-seven nieces and nephews.

In my defence though, I was dead before I could ever meet any of my new extended family. According to Edward, my eldest nephew, James, had been born three years after my disappearance.

I had a complete family that I'd never known about. I hadn't ever asked or questioned where I came from. Having my human memories destroyed had given me a clean slate with my new family and I had thrown myself headfirst into the vegetarian vampire lifestyle without question.

I had never bothered to look back.

At the time I had felt free. Now I felt foolish.

"Tell me what you found out again. All of it."

Bella watched me warily. "Emmett, I don't..."

"Please. I know you didn't give me all of the information at the time. We were...interrupted." A polite way of saying that Rosalie had crept into the house and eavesdropped on the conversation, bursting into the room in a fit of fury and attacking anyone in sight. Her rage and hurt had brought Jasper to his knees and it was only with Alice's foresight that we were even able to restrain her and stop her from destroying the house.

"You have to understand, Bella, I need to hear it all...from the beginning."

She shifted uncomfortably, but finally nodded.

"Renesmee has always been curious, you know that, wanting to know about everyone and everything. I swear she's like a sponge, just soaking it all up."

I smiled ruefully. I had learnt this the last time I had stayed over with Rosie to look after our niece. Her bedtime story had been a volume of one of Carlisle's encyclopedias, letters Ne through Pr. Her need for information was insatiable.

"She knows the stories of the rest of the family."

I raised my eyebrows at that and Bella caught the look.

"The sanitized versions," she amended. "There are things in everyone's past that I prefer she not hear until she's old enough to fully understand them and how they shaped who they are now."

I felt the need to defend my wife, no matter her inexcusable behaviour. "Rosalie..."

Bella held up her hand to interrupt me. "Not just Rosalie. There are things in Jasper and Alice's pasts that I would prefer her not to hear about just yet. And even Edward..." She swallowed heavily. "He's her father. He's her hero. I'd like to keep it that way for as long as possible."

"Do you ever begrudge him it?" I asked curiously.

"No," she answered confidently. "As far as I'm concerned it doesn't matter. He's a vampire, and we've all done things we regret."

"That's very forgiving of you," I remarked somewhat bitterly.

"It's not about forgiveness. I love him," she said, as if that explained everything. I guessed that in a way it did.

"So Renesmee..." I prompted.

"Right." Bella shook her head. "Anyway, she'd heard all the stories except yours. The only things she'd ever heard was that you were rescued by Rosalie when you were near dead after being attacked by a bear. If it's any consolation, whenever we went hunting for about a month after that, she insisted on only feeding on grizzlies in retaliation."

I gave the sleeping girl a fond glance – my little champion.

"We thought seeing as we were now living near Tennessee that it wouldn't hurt to look up your family history and see if we could find anything about your life – what you did, where you lived – that sort of thing. You know this part."

I did. Before they had begun this search for my past, Edward and Bella had approached me to ask my permission. Rosalie had even given them rudimentary directions to where she vaguely remembered finding me. I hadn't had any objections. I didn't think I had anything to hide.

"We looked at the local church records. Edward knew the year that Rose found you and we estimated your age to get your year of birth. Your birth was recorded in the third church we visited. You were the eldest child of the McCarty's, with seven younger siblings. We looked further in the records and came across an account of..."

Bella halted and looked down.

"My marriage," I finished the sentence for her.

"Your marriage," Bella echoed. "At nineteen to a girl called Emily Jenson. Ten months later there's a record of your death; presumably they got that from the evidence left at the scene of the attack. Six months later, the church records the christening of your son."

"My son," I whispered. "I have a son."

"You have a son."

We sat together in silence while I let the information hit me once more. The first time I heard it I didn't have a chance to react; Rosalie's reaction was quite enough for both of us, so I never got the chance to take it in.

I was married. _I had a wife_. _I had a son_.

Bella clearly didn't know what to say and so reverted to babbling. "We checked of course, to make sure that the facts were correct, that we had the right person and the right family. We managed to find the records of your son's birth and some photographs. I can get them for you if you want."

It was too much. Even with my increased mental capacity it was too much.

_I had a son. I had a son. I had a son_.

"Ummm..."

Luckily Bella seemed to sense this. "Or we can leave them and you can have a look whenever."

"Yes." I came back to myself. "Yes, maybe later."

_I had a son. I had a son. I had a son_.

I stood up abruptly. "Maybe later." I could hear Edward and the wolf making an ungodly amount of noise as they approached the house. Both could move silently when they wanted to so I presumed that my brother was making the additional noise to warn me of his arrival.

Bella stood too as both men entered the house and came directly to the room. Jacob crossed immediately to Nessie's side, staring down at her intently – no doubt checking for signs of illness or injury, whilst Edward stayed by the door, raking his hand through his hair.

"Everything ok in here?" he asked me, but then turned to face Bella. She went into his arms easily.

"Why wouldn't everything be alright?" Jake asked suspiciously. "What happened?"

"Nothing," Bella growled at him, baring her teeth.

"Sure sure." He held up his hands in protest. "I was just asking."

My sister-in-law wasn't to be deterred though. "And I don't want you asking Renesmee what's happened when she wakes up in the morning. This is nothing that you need to concern yourself with, ok? And don't you just 'sure sure' me. I know that means you're not listening."

Jacob didn't even try to deny it, he just grinned at Bella, but his smile faltered when she didn't soften her stance.

"I won't ask. I swear."

Bella made a noise of disbelief. "No sleeping in here tonight either. You can sleep in the bedroom you've been given."

"But..."

"Jake!"

As much as I loved seeing a seven-foot tall wolf being browbeaten into submission by little Bella, today I just wasn't in the mood for it.

"I'm going to head back up to the house."

Silence met my announcement.

Edward stepped forward and clapped me on the shoulder. "Do you want me to come back up with you?"

I attempted a joke. "Are you going to walk me home, Eddie? Will I get a goodnight kiss on the porch as well?"

His mouth curled up sardonically. "I take it that's a 'no'?"

"It's a 'no'," I confirmed. "Save the romance for your wife, Eddie. She probably needs it." He nodded, but I couldn't get it out of my head that although Edward was outwardly laughing at my jokes, he was probably analysing my disturbed state of mind at the same time.

I left with a smile and a wave, but as soon as I got far enough from the house my barriers dropped and I found myself stumbling off the path and into the forest. I couldn't go back to the main house just yet. The rest of my family would be there, their faces pitying and each of them would know.

We all knew now.

_I had a son_.

Stumbling blindly along, I collapsed against a tree trunk which groaned at the impact, and buried my face in my hands. I didn't know what to do, what to think or what I should be doing or thinking.

I had a son. What was I supposed to do with that information?

Whoever he was, he should be still alive – in his sixties if I had calculated correctly. I had been legally dead for five months by the time he was born, still lost in the violent haze and endless bloodlust of my first year as a vampire. I had been uncontrollable back then, even with four adult vampires watching my every move and working to limit the damage I could cause with just a flick of my fingers.

I couldn't imagine being around a baby while I was like that, especially a baby that I was trying hard not to hurt. I still didn't know how Bella managed it.

Bella said that she and Edward had found pictures, but I was too scared to see them. A big part of me wanted to know what he looked like; did he look anything like me or did he take after his mother? Would he be boisterous and active or quiet and shy? Did he miss having a father or did his mother remarry later in life and have more children?

That led to another issue – his mother.

I had had a wife, someone that I loved enough to marry. Someone that I had chosen to spend the rest of my life with. Someone I had chosen, not someone who had chosen me.

Emily Jenson.

I searched my memory desperately, trying to find a face that would fit the name, but nothing came to me. Idly, I wondered if she looked anything like Rosalie, whether I had looked up at my saviour that day long ago and seen the face of my wife in hers, but that wasn't fair. I shouldn't be thinking like that. I shouldn't be comparing them.

Still, if the situation had been reversed, I couldn't help but consider whether this Emily would have reacted in the same way as Rosalie. Or if she would have supported me when I needed her, helped me work through this revelation and all that it meant.

I guess I'd never know though.

I would hope, however, that she wouldn't have subjected to me to what Rosalie had.

It had been bad enough standing in the middle of Carlisle's study, Edward and Bella seated uncomfortably in front of me, waiting to hear what great revelation they had found out about my human life.

I hadn't been overly worried by what they might have found, but their fidgeting and their nervous glances to each other as they recounted my history put me on edge. It almost felt like waiting for a storm erupt – you could see the clouds rolling in above you but the tension in the air would continue to rise indefinitely until a clap of thunder would ring out.

Edward was talking about the research they'd done and at the end of each carefully considered sentence he would look at his wife who would nod in return. I knew something was coming, but in the meantime their hesitation was just making things worse.

And finally the thunder came...

"We found a marriage certificate, Emmett. You were married at nineteen and your wife was pregnant with your first child when you died."

I had blinked. Then blinked again.

Bella was scowling at her husband. "I told you to break it gently, not just blurt it out like that."

"No!" I blurted out. "It's fine."

It wasn't fine though. I felt like I was speaking to them through a bubble. Every thought in my head had just stopped, allowing all of my mind's power to focus on that one sentence.

My child. I had a child.

"I have a child?" It was all I could say, all I could think.

My brother and sister were looking concerned now by my lack of reaction. They shared a look before Bella spoke again.

"Yes, a little boy. He was named for you as well."

That shocked me out of my daze. "They called him Emmett?"

"Yes," she answered. "From what we can work out, he's still alive today, as are most of the rest of your family."

"The rest of my family?" I was stuck on repeat.

"Here." Edward held out a large sheet of paper with what looked like hundreds of names and lines scribbled over it. I stared at it blankly. "It's your family tree," he clarified.

The lines and words began to unscramble as my brain finally worked out what it all meant. I was there, in the middle, with my...

_My wife_.

I swallowed hard and forced myself to try and look objectively at the chart.

There was a line running down beneath my name and there... There he was. Emmett John McCarty. It was right in front of me in black ink. My son.

My eyes began to sting unexpectedly, venom welling up in them as my body tried to expel the sadness and joy I felt from seeing that name.

There were other beneath it, and on either side as well, but I ignored them beyond a cursory glance.

I had a son.

Bella stood up and shuffled carefully over to me, gently placing a hand on my arm. She looked worried, as did Edward – probably trying to judge what my reaction was going to be to this news.

"Emmett, are you alright?"

I stared blankly at her, my eyes flicking down to the comforting hand on my arm before meeting her sympathetic eyes once more.

"I have... I have..." I couldn't say it.

"I know," Bella nodded.

I searched for something to say or do, something that would help me understand this.

"Who else knows about this?"

Bella and Edward exchanged a look, and my brother finally stood up and approached us warily.

"We spoke with Carlisle, so Esme probably knows. And Alice has seen this conversation so I imagine that she and Jasper both know as well."

My head made a small jerky movement in acknowledgement. It was nothing less than what I had expected. There were two other people that I was worried about though.

"What...what about Renesmee?"

Edward frowned. "If need be we can explain to her what's happened, but it's probably best if she doesn't get caught up in any...uncertainty...while she's still young."

I understood what he was avoiding saying. They would tell Nessie what had happened once I had made a decision about what I was going to do with this revelation. Until then, they would leave it up to me to mull over.

I struggled to say the next name.

"And..." I paused, before trying to speak again. "Ro... Rosalie?"

They exchanged another one of those inscrutable glances. I nodded my head, their silence speaking volumes. No-one would have wanted to break the news to my Rosie; that way led to heartbreak and pain.

Only... Now that I was thinking about it, I realised that it would be impossible to keep something like this from her, just as impossible as it would appear to tell her. How was I supposed to break it to her that the desire she had always harboured for a child, for us to be a normal married couple, a family, which was never going to be possible for us, had already happened for me.

I had had a family, a wife and a son in my human life and I didn't even remember them. Rosalie had only had pain and disappointment and regret for the live she was now forced to live.

"Shit!" I swore.

Bella patted my shoulder again, but the gesture provided small comfort.

_I had a son. I had a son. I had a son._

The thought ran on repeat through my head, confusing me, consuming me.

I stood up abruptly and Bella flinched back from my sudden movement, retreating backwards minutely. I knew that it was an instinctive reaction, that she wasn't really scared of me, but the action pissed me off and I growled softly.

Edward was immediately in front of Bella, shielding her from me, his own warning growl rippling through his chest as he half-sank into a crouch. His defensive position shocked me out of my unconsciously aggressive stance and I stumbled backwards until I could feel the shelves of one of the bookcases pressing against my back, holding my hands up in peace.

Edward stayed crouched until Bella slipped a hand over the back of his neck, leaning forward and whispering something inaudible to him. He hesitated for a brief moment before he eased himself out of his crouch, still angling his body to come between me and his wife.

"Sorry... sorry," I muttered. "I don't... I don't know..." I stopped talking helplessly, unable to piece two thoughts together let alone explain them to someone else.

Bella took a step towards me, her face sympathetic, but Edward lay a warning hand on her arm and she paused. "We know, Emmett. It's a lot of information to take in all at once."

I laughed briefly and without humour. "You've been a vampire for how long now, Baby Bells? You should know better than most just how much information we can absorb."

Edward growled at the perceived slight towards his wife and I mentally apologised to him yet again. Bella just shook her head at me.

"You know it's not the same thing, Emmett. We're not asking you to work out the square root of two million and seventy. This is the kind of thing that does... can..." she corrected herself, "...have real emotional impact. And vampire brain or not, that's going to take some processing."

I immediately felt ashamed of how I had shot her concern down, but she was right – more right than I wanted her to be. It was a lot to take in and I knew that there must be more that they hadn't told me yet; after sixty years of living with Edward, I knew that he wouldn't have even considered telling me about my... unless he had double checked all the facts and made sure that he had prepared for all eventualities.

I needed time though.

I needed to sit down somewhere quiet and just give myself a moment to get my head around the concept that I was a father.

I was a father. _I was a grandfather_.

"Come on." Edward gently cupped his hand around Bella's elbow and began to lead her past me. "I think we should leave Emmett to consider all that we've told him."

I inclined my head towards him for his consideration, but Bella was not easily convinced. She turned her head towards me.

"Are you sure? I don't want to leave you by yourself after hearing something like this. I know I wouldn't want to be alone; I'd want to be with..."

She abruptly broke off and began blinking furiously, a sure sign that she was embarrassed. I almost wished that she could still blush – it was far more entertaining. I didn't doubt her meaning though. In my situation, she would have turned to Edward for support. I had no guarantee that I could rely on Rosalie for the same support, especially given that she was part of the problem.

"I'll be fine," I reassured her with as much confidence as I could muster. "I just need some time by myself to adjust."

She offered me an understanding smile and then shook my brother's hand off her arm, approaching me and wrapping her arms around me in a hug.

"Let us know if you need anything, Emmett. We're here for you if you need us."

I squeezed her lightly to show my appreciation for her consideration and then stepped back out of her embrace. Edward reached out a hand for Bella to take, obviously sensing my desire to be by myself, and led her out of the room.

And then I was alone... and confused.

I wanted to scream, to roar my outrage at the injustice dealt to me by the world; I wanted to dance around in celebration of my son's life, to find the woman who bore him and kiss and thank her for loving me and for having our child.

I wanted to cry.

I wanted to curl up into a ball and sob my heart out at what I had lost. I would never be a part of my son's life, or any of the rest of the family that I had founded. Sixty years was long, but not long enough to erase the memory of the human Emmett McCarty from the minds of those still alive. I would never be able to able to see my child or participate in his life, by subterfuge or any other means.

I couldn't show up unexpectedly, claiming to be a long-lost relative, because human interaction was something we avoided out of necessity. Being around humans all the time was still difficult, although less so for Carlisle and Rosalie, and as much as I liked to believe that Jasper was the weakest member of the family when it came to bloodlust, I knew that I wasn't that far behind him. Plus what would happen if I did ingratiate myself within my new-found family? Before long, someone would notice that I wasn't aging and I would be forced to run so suspicion wasn't brought down upon our family.

Edward had gotten close to a human, sure, but then look how that had turned out. Bella was still alive – in a fashion anyway - but neither of them had survived their relationship unaffected.

My fingers twitched as I fought the urge to hit something; I could feel my frustration at the situation building up and I shoved my body away from the bookshelves, out of the room and along the corridor before I completely destroyed Carlisle's study.

_My wife. My son. My wife. My son._

The words were almost a chant in my head as I stalked along the hallway.

I wanted to throw something, to let loose, to just get all of the confusion out of my system.

Slamming my palm against the door to the bedroom, I shoved it open, satisfaction rippling through me at the cracking sound it made as it hit the wall on the other side and splintered.

The room's other occupant froze at my aggressive entrance and then turned slowly to face me. Covered in dirt and blood, her hair tangled around her face, marring her usually spotless appearance, and unshed tears shining in her eyes, my wife looked at me blankly.

"Rosie?" I croaked out, my voice suddenly deciding to take a vacation from working properly. "Rosie, baby, what's wrong?"

I took a step towards her, but she backed away from me. A hysterical laugh erupted from her throat, the bitterness within the sound making me wince.

"Rosie?" I hated the lost tone to my voice.

She continued to laugh, the normal bell-like ring of her voice, now sending shivers down my spine. I had a vague memory from my past as a human of a chalk scraping loudly down a blackboard causing the same effect, and I winced as the noise assaulted my sensitive ears.

"What's wrong?" she screeched, all traces of humour vanishing abruptly. "How can you stand there and ask me what's wrong?!"

I blinked slowly at her, my mind not fully computing her response, despite all my claims to advanced mental capacity.

"Have you just got back from hunting?"

She looked furious, her mouth opening and closing, one finger coming up to point accusingly at me.

"Have I just got back from hunting? You're daring to stand there and ask if I've just got back from hunting?"

"Rosie..."

Her voice was ice cold as she interrupted me. "Yes, Emmett, I've just got back from hunting. I got back about twenty minutes ago, but you were too pre-occupied to notice that I was in the house. So I came to find you, and guess what I overheard?"

Realisation began to finally seep through my brain. She had heard Bella and Edward. She knew about my...wife and child.

"So," her tone was bitterly triumphant, "want to tell me I'm the only woman you've ever loved before? Want to tell me that I'm the only woman you've ever envisaged having children with?" Her voice grew progressively louder as her anger began to get the better of her. "Want to tell me that you've never really wanted children anyway so it doesn't matter that I can't give you them?"

Her arm flew forward and a glass paperweight that had been on the table next to her flew past my head and shattered against the door jamb.

"You said you loved me," she hissed.

"I do," I tried to defend myself, but she wasn't having it.

"You said that I was the only one, but I'm not the only one, am I? How many else were there, Emmett? I mean, I know now about your sweet little wife, but how many others have you tricked by telling them that you love them and only them?"

I shook my head, fighting against my temper which threatened to rise in response to her careless words.

"I didn't know. Don't you think I would've told you if I'd known?"

She began to circle round the room, almost backing me into a corner.

"And your _son_." She practically spat out the word. "All this time you've been _so_ sympathetic, telling me that it's alright, that you don't miss being human and that you really don't care that we can't have children. I thought you were too good to be true, but instead I find out that of course you don't care about it, because there's already a child running around out there with your name. Who cares if Rosalie's barren when you've got some whore prancing around the country pushing kids out whenever you want them."

I gritted my teeth and tried to explain. "Edward and Bella..."

"Yes!" she interrupted again. "Let's talk about Edward and Bella. Let's talk about them and Carlisle and Esme and Alice and Jasper all knowing about this. Let's talk about your dirty little secret."

"I didn't know!" I roared, unable to stand her tirade anymore. "I didn't know about any of this. I was only just told today. So don't act like this is some kind of big secret that we've all kept from you! You don't have that right."

"What do you mean, I don't have that right?! I am your wife." She snorted derisively. "Although to my surprise I'm not the first one like I thought, like I was led to believe. I have every right to know what you've been hiding from me. All this time you've had a wife and a son living in this state..."

"AND YOU TOOK THEM FROM ME!"

She recoiled at the volume of my voice. I didn't know where all this anger and resentment was coming from but it suddenly flooded my body and all came spilling out, word by painful word.

"Yes, I had a wife! And yes, I had a son! I had a family and you took me away from them! Don't pretend that you're the victim in all of this, Rosalie, because you're not the one who's lost everything."

Her mouth snapped shut and she recoiled from me. For some reason this made me even more angry with her.

"You don't get to shout. You don't get to be mad, because at the end of the day, you're not the one who lost everything that day. You think I don't know, huh, you think I don't know why you saved me. Don't pretend that you rescued me from that bear from the good of your own heart, because that's total bullshit! The only reason you took me to Carlisle was because I looked like some old friend's baby. If I had been the ugliest man in the world then you wouldn't have bothered and I would've been left to rot for the scavengers. Don't pretend that it's not true."

"I didn't..."

This time it was my turn to interrupt her.

"And sure, I would've still been dead either way, but at least my family would've had something to bury, something to tell them that I hadn't left them voluntarily and just run away from all my responsibilities."

"I did what I thought was right," she shot at me.

"You did what was right for you, Rosalie, and to hell with the rest of us."

Her eyes narrowed. _"How dare you?!"_

I wasn't taking it anymore though. For the first time ever I finally let out all of the resentment I never knew I had towards her.

"I dare because it's my life! I dare because this was _my_ family and _my_ wife and _my_ son! I dare because if I don't then who's going to look out for me, Rosalie? _You?_ Don't make me laugh."

She flinched at that, the pain she was feeling briefly flitting across her face because she pushed it back down again. "I've done everything for you..."

"No! You've done what suited you for you, and I've just let you, because I love you and nothing else mattered to me in this life. But you can't stand there now and criticise me for having a past that I knew nothing about."

Rosalie flinched. "You could've remembered. I did."

I sneered at her. "You remembered because you wanted to, because it was convenient to. You remembered so you knew who to go after once you'd gained some control. You remembered because to not remember would mean that you had to let go of all of the pain and all of the anger and all of the bitterness and realise that while you can't have the life that you imagined when you were seventeen, this one is just as good, maybe even better because in this one you have a family and a husband that actually care for you and will do for the rest of time. But you'll never see that because you're so stuck in the fucking past that you're completely blind to what's happening in the present."

I took a deep breath before continuing, part of me taking pleasure in the shocked look on her face. "I never remembered because you didn't want me to. From the moment I opened my eyes as a newborn you wanted me to see you and only you, and God help me, I did. My memories and human life meant nothing to you because I was dead to it anyway."

Rosalie shook her head. "I don't have to listen to this."

Pushing me to one side, she stalked through the bedroom door.

I stood there frozen for a split second.

How dare she? If it wasn't enough that she had taken me from my human family, she was now acting like none of it mattered, like it was okay for her to be angry at me for having a past that I knew nothing about, but when I got angry at her then the offence was negligible.

No.

I wasn't going to stand for it anymore. I wasn't going to let her treat me like this.

"Come back here," I shouted, sprinting down the stairs and stopping her just as she was about to leave through the back of the house. "You don't get to do that. You don't get to run away when it doesn't suit you. You started this, so we'll finish this."

She glared at my face and then the hand currently stopping her from leaving.

"Get off me, Emmett."

I tightened my grip. "No. We're going to stay here until we've sorted this out. You wanted to talk about this, so we're talking about it."

"Let go of me!" she shouted, wrenching her arm out of my grip.

"Is everything alright here?"

While I had been grappling with Rosalie, I hadn't noticed that the rest of the family had been drawn to the living room by the commotion.

"Everything's fine," I bit out.

"Oh." Esme who had asked the initial question looked dubious. "Are you both sure?"

"What do you think?" Rosalie spat at her. "Huh? Do we look alright to you?"

Carlisle stepped up in defence of his wife. "There's no call for that, Rose."

"No call? No call?" She laughed hysterically. "My husband has this whole other life that I didn't know about, only for me to find that everyone else did. How is that alright, Carlisle? How is that fine?"

Bella stepped up this time, wringing her hands. "We wanted to tell you, Rosalie, but we wanted Emmett to know first."

That twisted laugh rang out again. "You wanted Emmett to know first? Well in that case, Bella, why didn't you and Edward tell Emmett first then? Huh? I heard you earlier. You left him until last and no-one was ever going to let me know."

"That's not true," Edward defended them. "We consulted with Carlisle about what to do..."

"And then it spread around the whole house." Her hands tangled in her hair and in that second, Rosalie looked crazed. "And how long were you planning on keeping this from me? _How long?_"

"We don't know." It was spoken quietly, but it was the worst possible thing that Rosalie could've heard in that moment.

"How could you?! How could you all?! You were going to hide this from me and pretend that it never happened?" She grew quieter suddenly and that scared me more than any of her other reactions. "Well, I guess I know where I stand. It's nice to finally know my place in this family."

"Rosalie," Esme tried, "you know we all love you..."

"But you love each other more. I'm just there for when you need someone to do your dirty work for you or when you need a babysitter if the dog's not around."

"You know that's not true."

"Shut up, Bella! God, if it weren't for you we wouldn't be in any of this mess anyway, but you just have to have what you want even if it hurts everyone else."

"That's not fair."

"Life's not fair," she screeched. "Isn't that what you're always telling me – that we don't always get what we want? When have any of you ever given up as much as I have?"

Carlisle interjected. "You're not the only one who can't have children, Rosalie."

She turned on him. "Alice doesn't want children. She's perfectly happy running around looking after Jasper and his 'slip-ups'." The two adopted members of the family growled at the slight. "And Esme's already been a mother; she's already had a baby, experienced that. She had the chance to live her life to its fullest and she chose the easy option when she threw herself over that cliff. And Bella..."

She spat the younger vampire standing on the other side of the room, steadfastly ignoring the little girl who had come up behind her parents' legs.

"If they want another child they've just got to find another human that Edward's willing to fuck."

"You need to calm down now," I told her. She was just shooting off at the mouth now and I knew that if she didn't stop soon then she would just end up alienating the rest of the family.

"Don't tell me to calm down!" she screamed. "You don't get to do that. You don't get to stand there and judge me when you're all fucking liars."

"Rosalie," a shaken Carlisle tried again. "You can't blame Emmett for what he cannot control."

"Yes, I can! I can blame him all I want, because he's spent the last sixty years lying to me while some whore raises his bastard!"

It was the last straw. My nerves had been pushed to the edge by Rosalie's vitriolic rant and her derision towards my lost family was the final shove over the edge.

I snapped.

Her body hit the wall as I flew at her, my weight pummelling one of her shoulders through the plaster.

"Shut up!"

"No!" She snarled at me. "You've had your say, now I get to have mine."

I snarled in her face, trying not to move an inch further in case I did something I knew I would regret.

"Emmett!" Jasper and Carlisle were immediately at my sides, ready to drag me back. Slowly, one finger at a time, I released my grip on Rosalie. The two hands resting on my arms ready to pull me back relaxed. I took a step back. My rage subsided. I turned away.

"Yeah, that's right. Run away from me. I wonder if she felt better off when you ran away from _her_ too."

Red.

It was all I could see.

I lunged for Rosalie again only to be dragged back by my brothers and Carlisle. Snarling and growling, I used my strength to toss my adoptive father aside and slam Jasper to the ground. Fighting to get at Rosalie, who was now backing away towards the garden again, I sprung forward, only to be blocked by Edward who mirrored my every mood. I tried to block my mind to stop him predicting my every move, but only succeeded in focusing more on my attack.

I tried to get past him again, only for Carlisle and Jasper to take advantage of my distraction and wrestle me to the ground. I was roaring in anger and displeasure now, the sounds coming from my mouth barely human as I tried to evade the three males and stand up.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Esme whisking Renesmee up the stairs and away from the scene I was creating. Bella and Alice slipped past me and it was then that I realised that Rosalie had gone.

She had run from me.

I had attacked her.

I had done the one thing I had promised to never do – attacked a woman out of anger.

That thought was all if took for the fight to leave my limbs and for me to still beneath the weight of my family.

They paused.

"Are you going to attack again if we release you?" Jasper eventually asked.

I shook my head. "No. I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me, I just snapped."

They had some kind of silent debate above my head before Edward and Jasper each gripped my arms.

"Ok, we're going to walk you back and you can sit on the couch, but try anything else and you'll be back on the floor before you know it. Deal?"

"Deal," I agreed.

I was hoisted upwards and pushed onto the sofa. Edward and Jasper took up tense positions on the chairs opposite, ready to leap into action if I looked like I was about to move.

I buried my head in my hands. "Fuck! This is such a shitstorm."

"That it is," Jasper agreed.

Carlisle came and crouched down in front of me so he could see my face. "Are you alright, Emmett?"

I laughed and in that moment I sounded as hysterical as Rosie had.

"Fuck if I know. Got this is a mess." I couldn't comprehend just how out of control everything had gotten.

I still couldn't hours later as I sat in the clearing, the sounds of the forest at night echoing all around me.

I didn't know what I was supposed to think or do about my newly-found son or his mother. I didn't know what I was supposed to do about Rosalie.

As angry as I was about her reaction, in all honestly it was nothing more than I had expected. I had known the second that Edward and Bella had told me about my human family that the knowledge would damage Rosalie in a manner akin to her death.

I had always told her that as long as we had each other, I didn't care that I couldn't have a family with her, and now that I had a moment to breathe and consider all the facts, I realised that that hadn't actually changed.

This was my life now.

It seemed selfish to think that way, but I really had died in the mountains of Tennessee all those years ago. I had passed over from one life to the next, and I wasn't sure that revisiting the past would help. My son's father was dead; I had already acknowledged that earlier. I couldn't go back, but I didn't know which path would take me forward now.

"Hey."

I looked up from where I had been staring at the grass to see Rosalie crossing hesitantly towards me.

She hesitated. "Can I sit?" She gestured to my side.

"Sure." I patted the ground next to me.

As she walked towards me, the moon came out from behind a cloud and bathed her in light. The sight was one which took my breath away. Even now, covered in dirt and blood and remnants of the wall plaster, she was still the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.

"You look like an angel," I told her.

She scrunched her face up and sat down cautiously next to me.

"I think we've established tonight just how far from being an angel I am."

She had left some distance between us and I slung my arm around her waist and pulled her next to me so she was resting her head against my shoulder.

We sat in silence for a few minutes.

Finally she shifted so she was facing me. "I'm sorry I screamed at you about your...wife and your...son. It wasn't right of me and I shouldn't have. So I'm sorry."

Her apology was almost painful to listen to, especially when her voice choked on the words 'wife' and 'son'.

I gave an apology of my own. "I'm sorry I lost my temper and shoved you through the wall."

"It's okay. I deserved it."

I shook her slightly. "No-one deserves that, Rosie. There's no excuse for it."

She settled back against me without saying a word. I stroked her hair, twirling the golden strands around my fingers.

"Alice told me that some of your family are still alive."

I hummed in agreement. "Apparently so."

She hesitated for a second before asking the question I knew she was afraid to think. "Do you think...you might want to meet them?"

It was what I had been asking myself ever since I had found out about my family.

"I don't know."

She nodded.

"Where do we go from here, Emmett?"

I had never heard her sound so weary or disheartened before.

I held her tighter to me. That was the question now, wasn't it? Yes, that was the question.

And I had no answers to give.


End file.
